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第14章TheStina
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MelissaNevels
ThesummerItureeherandI，livinginCorpusChristi，Texas.WerehislittleapartmentonNorthBeae1981.JustafewdaysafterwemovedihisgirlnamedGinawholivedwithsomepeopleinahousebehindus.Isay“people，”
becausetheywereiuffIhadverylittleknowledgeof，inmyiheyoallyhadaJamaiguestwhowouldein，stayafewdays，thenleave.IrealizedsomeyearslaterthesigheJamaivisitor.Ididn’tknowmuchaboutthesepeopleGih，anddidokoowell.Therewerealwaysalotofadultsthathungaround，buttheyusuallywereipartofthehousewherethemusidleftustoourow.
Gihesepeoplebecause，Iguessyoucouldsay，shewashomeless，inasense，shewasaboutayearandahalfyouhay，beautifulsmile，prettyblgreethirteen，sheknewfarmoreaboutthestreetsthansheshouldhave.Shedidn’tkherwas，aherwasadrunk.Shehadaerwhowasmarriedtoamaninthenavy，andlivedi.NobodywantedGime.Ilovedherlikeasister.
Inthebegiledateachotherontheschoolbus.Ginawasatoughkid，andIguessasadefensemeism，shealutonthattough-kidarmorwhennecessary.Afteraweekorsoofschool，westartedtalking.Andsiheonlykidintheareamyage，wereallykiogether.Myfolksweredivordbarelyspokeuo.I’djustmoved600milesfromtheonlyhomeI’deverknowninMississippiandIwashomesidshehadnorealhome.Oncewerealizedwebothhadwoundstolick，itclidarable.Shewasagradebehme，sowehadher.Butassoonaswe’dboardtheschoolbusiilitwastimeforbed，weweretogether.
Welivedowasafive-minutewalkfromwherewelived，justamattertheroad.Ifitwaswarm，I’dgetoffthebusandhurriedlydomychoresthathadtobefinishedbeforemymomgothomefromwork.Thenquicklygetintomybathingsuit.We’dmeetupwithourtowelsandsmokesahesand.I’djuststartedsmokiGina.Shesmoked，nly，andithher，Ididn’tthinkaboutwhatmymomwoulddoifshefoundout.Inaway，IguessIwaeherfreespirit.ItwaserthatIrealizedtheintensesadhavefelt.
Aboutmidwayintotheschina’ssisteraskedhertoeahemi.Ioodwhyitttoask.SheknewGina’sdwhereshewasliving.Gina’smomstayeddruime，andIthinktheyhadabigfailingout，ahome.That’swheolivebehindme.Hermomdidn’twaleastthat’s
SoGime.Iwasheartbroken.Butatthesametime，Iythatshewasgoihhersister.Ithoughtthatifshewaswithfamily，she’dbeOK.Wewroteeachotherlettersatleasttwiceaweek，butfourmonthslatershecameback.Igotseveralstinaastowhyitdidn’twork-out.Ihavemyowntheories.
&on，theschoolyearwasingtoay15thbirthdaywasjustaroundtheymoma.Ginastayedbehiherpersonsomewhereincorpus，butwewroteletters，aouch.Taftwasonly18milesaway.Afterwewerethereabout6months，Ginawasagainlacetolive，andthenunswerelookingforsomebodytotakehersoshewouldn’tbeplaafosterhome.ThestotisGinastartedhavingathingwiththelady’s（thatshelivedwith）19-year-oldson.Ginawasjustfourteeime，andsheaskedGiually，shesawthisguyoffandonforawhile.Ginawasloose.Sheeratelylookingforsomebodytoloveherintheonlywaysheknewhow.Anditcosther.
Sowebecameherfosterfamily，ofsorts.Iwasworried.MymomandIwerelivingsoskimpilyasitwas.Webarelyhadmoopaythebills，andaeswehadourelectriedofffor.Iwasworriedabouthavingaofeed.ButIlovedher，andmymomfeltsorryforher.Shecouldseealittleinatoo.Wehadsomu!Webothsooes，aogethereveryweekend.Weeveotce，utiionforawholeday，andwemissedhavingourschoolpicturestakenthatday.Intheschoolyearbook，forthatyear，wheremypictureshouldbe，there’salittlecharawithabarrelaroundhismiddleandasignonitthatsays:“photonotavailable.”
Actually，IbelieveitwasoorsthatstartedthebeginnioGina’sstaywithus.Ithinkmymomwasafraidshe’d“ruboffonme”
.I’mamomnowandIbetteruand.
Ginawaswild，andyou’tcageawildanimalf.Shewaswithusabouteightmowaswinteragaiight，andfoodwassalikedthewildlife.Mymomdidn’tallowthetypeoflife，fegirl，thatshewasusedto.SoGinaeoneelsesheknew，andmadearraoleaveus.
&hewasthelasttimeIeversawher.We’dsharedaroomforsomanymonths，andittyaftersheleft.Imissedherterribly.Irememberherputtiuffintothebackofawhitecar.I’llwatghershuttheliddown，andturhasmileandsayihisisit，Iguess.”
Ireplied“Yeah...youtakecareofyourself.Don’tdrinkaoomuch.”
Welaughedandhugged.Shesaid，“Speakforyourself!”
Thenwecried.She’dbeefrieerpartoftwoyearsahingihatIwouldneverseeheragain.
Ididmaime.Justoheplattofromours.Thenabouttwoyearslater，Igotaletterfromher，andshewasinMissouri.She’dhadababy，byamarriedman.“Buthelovesme，”
shewrote.Ifeltverysad，andwonderedifshe’deverreallyfindwhatshesodesperatelywanted.Orwhatshethoughtshewanotnecessarilywhatsheneeded.
Ineverheardfraihesedletter.IwrotebaevergotarespohisdayIdon’tknoeoher，ifshe’salive，orwheresheis.Wheookpartofmewithher.Webecameliketwins，andwhenshewasgolikeI’dlostsomethingihi-like.Shewassofulloflife，anddidn’tdwelloiooutwardly.Andwewereclose，wesharedeverything.
Istillthieheseyears.Twoyounggirlsreaanhoodohs.Yeteachpathfamiliartotheother.Shestillhastheabilitytomakemesmile，aeallthatIhaveandallthatIa
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