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TextAThinkingasaHobby
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WilliamGolding
[1]WhileIwasstillaboy,Icametothethattherewerethreegradesofthinking;andsinceIwaslatertokingasmyhobby,Ievenstrangerely,thatImyselfotthinkatall.
[2]Imusthavebeenanunsatisfactorychildfrowh.Irememberhowiheyappearedtomeatfirst,butnot,ofcourse,hoearedtotheItwastheheadmasterofmygrammarschohtthesubjekihoughheway,norwiththeresultheintended.Hehadsomestatuettesinhisstudy.Theystoodonahighcupboardbehindhisdesk.Onewasaladywearingnothingbutabathtowel.Sheseemedfrozeernalpahebathtowelslipdownanyfarther,andsinceshehadnoarms,shewasinanuiontopullthetowelupagaioher,crouchedthestatuetteofaleopard,readytdodrawerofafililabeledA-AH.Myierpretedthisasthevictim’slast,despairiheleopardwasanaked,mustleman,whosat,lookingdown,withhishisfistandhiselbowonhiskerlymiserable.
[3]Sometimelater,Ilearhesestatuettes.Theheadmasterhadplacedthemwheretheywouldfaquent,becausetheysymbolizedtohimtowholeoflife.ThenakedladywastheVenusofMilo.ShewasLove.Shewashetowel.ShewasjustbusybeiheleopardwasNature,andhewasbeingnatural.Thenaked,mustlemanwasnotmiserable.HewasRodin’sThinker,animageht.Itiseasytobuysmallplastermodelsofwhatyouthinklifeislike.
[4]IhadbetterexplainthatIwasafrequentvisitortotheheadmaster’sstudy,becauseofthelatestthingIhaddoundone.Asased.Iwas,ifanything,disied;andIuzzled.Grownupsnevermadesense.WheneverIfoundmyselfiioheheadmaster’sdesk,withthestatuettesglimmeringwhitelyabovehim,Iwouldsinkmyhead,claspmyhandsbehindmybadwritheoheother.
[5]Theheadmasterwouldlookopaquelyatmethroughflashiacles.“Whatarewegoingtodowithyou?”
&weretheygoingtodowithme?Iwouldwrithemyshoesomemoreathew.
[7]“Lookup,boy!’tyoulookup?”
[8]ThenIwouldlookatthecupboard,wherethenakedladywasfrozeninherpanidthemustlemahehiheleopardinendlessglooIhadnothingtosaytotheheadmaster.HisspectaclescaughtthelightsothatyoucouldseenothinghumaheThereossibilityofuni.
[9]“Dohinkatall?”
[10]No,Ididn’tthink,wasn’tthinking,’tthink—Ilywaitinginanguishfortheiop.
[11]“Theerlearn—hadn’tyou?”
[12]Ononeotheheadmasterleapedtohisfeet,readplonkedRodin’smasterpiethedeskbeforeme.
[13]“That’swhatamanlookslikewhehinking.”
[14]Isurveyedthegehoutiorprehension.
[15]“Gobacktoyourclass.”
[16]Clearlytherewassomethingmissiurehadeofthehumahasixthse.Thismustbeso,Imused,onmywaybacktothecewhetherIhadbrokenawindow,orfailedtorememberBoyle’sLaw,orbeenlateforsyteaeoanswer:“Why’tyouthink?”
[17]AsIsawthecase,IhadbrokenthewindowbecauseIhadtriedtohitJaeywithacricketballandmissedhim;IberBoyle’sLawbecauseIhadheredtolearnit;andIwaslateforschoolbecauseIpreferredlookihebridgeintotheriver.Infact,Ieremyteachers,perhaps,sogoodthattheyotuhedepthsofmydepravity?Weretheytormentedpeoplewhocoulddirecttheireveryabythismysteriousbusihihingrehensible.Inmyearlieryears,IfouatuetteoftheThinkerg.Ididnotbelieveanyofmyteacherswerenaked,ever.Likesomeobitterlydetermiofindoutaboutsound,Iwatchedmyteacherstofindoutaboutthought.
[18]TherewasMr.Houghton.Hewasalwaystellihink.Withamodestsatisfa,hewouldtellthathehadthoughtabithimself.Thenwhydidhespendsomuchtimedrinking?Orwastheremoresenseindrinkingthanthereappearedtobe?Butifnot,andifdriruih—andMr.Houghtonwasruiherewasnodoubtaboutthat—aystalkingaboutthelifeauesoffreshair?Hewouldspreadhisarmswidewiththeaanwhohabituallyspenthistimestridingalongmes.
[19]“Openairdoesmegood,boys—Iknowit!”
[20]Sometimes,exaltedbyhisownoratory,hefromhisdeskasideintoahideouswind.
[21]“Now,boys!Deepbreaths!FeelitrightdowninsideyhtsofGod’sgoodair!”
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